Sharknado 5: Global Swarming premiered last night and I can honestly say I loved it! I laughed my ass off so many times that my stomach hurt by the end of the film. Series regulars Anthony C. Ferrante (director), Ian Ziering and Tara Reid (Fin and April) are once again joined by uber-hottie Cassie Scerbo as Nova (for some reason they only write her into every other movie) and Cody Lindley (Matt Shepard) in a quest to save their youngest son Gil, who gets trapped inside a Sharknado. Don’t roll your fucking eyes at me, if you want logical plots you’ve come to the wrong place!
Along the way we of course get to watch some celebrities of the B, C, and D-List variety make cameos then promptly get eaten. In this installment we have Star Trek’s Nichelle Nichols, POISON’S Bret Michaels in a hilarious segment involving a double decker bus in London, as well as my teenage crush Samantha Fox working with Clay Aiken in a James Bond 007-type of lab. Fox even calls an assistant by the name “Llewelyn” in a nod to the late actor Desmond who played Q in the Bond films for years. She then says, “I Wanna Have Some Fun” before blasting some sharks to bits. When all over-the-top Hell breaks loose get ready for a crazy ride, people!
Masiela Lusha reprises her role as cousin Gemini and just like last time she steals every scene she’s in. The only problem is there weren’t enough of them. And speaking of gorgeous women, the one, the ONLY, Olivia Newton-John, my childhood and eternal crush shows up as Orion, a scientist who gives April a very Grease-style makeover, which was wonderful. On the more outlandish/WTF side we have Charo as The Queen of England and Fabio as The Pope (yeah, you read that right!) alongside series veterans Al Roker, Hoda Kotb, and Kathie Lee Gifford, all of whom provide just the right amount of humor to go with this outrageousness.
And that’s it, that’s all the plot you get. Want more? Watch the movie, then. When it’s all said and done I fucking love the Sharknado series and I marathon all of them yearly here at A&GS HQ. They are so much fun from start to finish and I hope they continue on for another 20 years, or until Fin, April, and Nova decide to finally hang it up, whichever comes first. Besides, where else can you see Geraldo Rivera play a doctor who pilots a blimp called The Hindenburg? Listen, these movies are ridiculous amounts of fun, and if people didn’t tune in they wouldn’t make keep making them, would they? And get ready, because Sharknado 6 is a go for sure!