Columns – Please Explode


Some people just don’t know how to stand still; apparently Adam Cody is one of those dudes. For the second time this year, the singer is releasing an album of disgustingly heavy music, this time with death/grind act COLUMNS. The group’s sophomore record, Please Explode, is out now via Relapse Records. And for those who aren’t familiar with Adam Cody, first, you should be ashamed, second, he is the singer of both WRETCHED and GLASS CASKET, a band that also features Dusty Waring and Blake Richardson of BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME and Wes Hauch, formerly of THE FACELESS. In other words, this dude has a PhD in making gnarly music.

The aptly titled Please Explode features a sixteen song beat down that stabs at the jugular and continues to kick you as you hemorrhage onto the floor; this proves to be a list too long for one to break down all the pieces individually, however, I will discuss the highlights I found on the record. Opening track “Mudfucker” begins the aural assault in the correct fashion, by expelling a putrid mass from the very second it begins. From there, the violation of the temporal lobe continues with “Our Creation”. In keeping with aptly used terms, “Vicarious Living” is best described in it’s opening line “this is an onslaught.”

My personal favorite, “The God Clause” gives a new definition to what one may call brutal, and, no, not “teh br00talz” or whatever scene kids call breakdown-core bands these days; I speak of actual brutality, as in snuff film brutality. Think the musical equivalent to A Serbian Film. “No One’s Fucking Waiting” adds a new layer to the maelstrom, showing off riffs that flaunt a slightly southern feel as well as a very choice guitar lead. COLUMNS ends their charge of battery with “Laid Off For X-Mas”, another track that offers no quarter, but fades out to finally allows the listener a chance to breathe once it has removed it’s heel from their neck.

Though I only mentioned a handful of the songs, the entire record is phenomenal. Cody and pals have delivered an astoundingly harsh collection of tunes, full of such dirt and grit, you’ll need to pour neosporin in the spot where your ear-holes previously were. To offer one more over the top metaphor, this record will wake you up with a kick to the teeth and then force you to watch it violate your nana, using her own tears as…. well, you get the point, right? The latest offering from COLUMNS is a potent death/grind mix that is a must-have for fans of truly vulgar metal.

STANDOUT TRACKS: “Mudfucker”, “Our Creation”, “Vicarious Living”, “The God Clause”, “No One’s Fucking Waiting”, “Ungrateful”, “Laid Off For X-Mas”

RATING: 9/10


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