Hey all you TapouT-wearing douches, frat boys, and trailer park guys who end every sentence with “bro”, you can rejoice! The new FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH album Got Your Six is available now via Prospect Park! Bro-Core in the house! I know some of you were missing Ivan Moody’s musings on how he’s a “motherfuckin’ this” and a “motherfuckin’ that” but you needn’t worry. The band is back and worse than ever!! Only now they’re adding a military theme to their apparent badassery. This much is obvious by the title Got Your Six. Any one of us who have ever served in the military should have a problem with this. Yeah, yeah, I know they do a lot of shows for the troops, but to use military terminology when you haven’t served is a big no-no.
And let’s not forget clichéd songs like “Wash It All Away” and “Ain’t My Last Dance” to remind everyone just how badass this band is. No…no, you’re not. What you are at this point is a fucking joke, and anyone who buys your records or goes to see you should at this point be sterilized. “My Nemesis” looks like it’s going to represent the only redeeming moment on this suckjob of a record, but then Ivan starts singing aaaaaand that idea is flushed down the Toilet Of Hell.
“No Sudden Movement” is maybe one of the only promising moments on the disc thus far, but the band finds a way to ruin that as well. The intro to “Question Everything” makes you think this will be a good song. The guitar tones are actually really cool, and I was curious to see where it was going. And as soon as we got to the chorus I knew we’d found our winner! Seriously, great song. “Hell to Pay” (cliché much?) has a sick riff that makes it another song to remember, despite the awful title.
“Digging My Own Grave” and “Boots and Blood”…do I really need to? Bottom line is this, OK? The new FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH album sucks donkey balls. This band, that was good for all of five minutes, now sucks ass. If you are one of the morons who purchased Got Your Six you should probably sterilize yourself, so you don’t have kids as dumb and Bro-Core as you.
STANDOUT TRACKS: “Question Everything”, “Hell to Pay”